She Was the Perfect Friend... Until Everyone Started Dying | The Pam Hupp Story

The pies were cold on the counter, dinner untouched, and the house felt too quiet.
 Russ Faria walked in that night expecting his wife — and instead found a nightmare.
 55 stab wounds. A knife still in her neck.
 And somewhere in Troy, Missouri, a woman named Pam Hupp was already rehearsing her story.

In this episode of GBRLIFE Of Crimes, Kaitlyn steps into the life of Pam Hupp — the smiling neighbor who used kindness as her weapon.
From the murder of Betsy Faria to a staged “self-defense” shooting, this is a story of manipulation, control, and the chilling psychology of a woman who wanted to be the hero, no matter the cost.

🎧 In this episode:
• The night Betsy Faria’s husband walked into horror
• How Pam Hupp weaponized sympathy to frame an innocent man
• The staged murder that exposed her web of lies
• Her Alford plea, new charges, and the ongoing trial
• The psychology of control, deception, and malignant narcissism

This isn’t just true crime — it’s a warning about what happens when empathy turns into exploitation.

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Chapters

• 0:00 The Quiet Before the Storm
• 1:21 The Facade of Kindness
• 2:46 A Sinister Decision
• 3:43 The Frantic Discovery
• 5:41 The Unraveling Truth
• 7:12 A Desperate Act
• 9:00 The Plea Deal
• 9:41 The Reflection Of Evil
• 11:08 The True Face Of Danger

Transcript

Kaitlyn:

[0:00] The pies were cold on the counter, dinner untouched, and the house, that small yellow home on the edge of Troy, Missouri, felt too quiet.

Kaitlyn:

[0:11] Russ Faria pushed the door open that night with grocery bags in his arms, calling out for his wife, like he always did. But what answered him wasn't her voice. It was silence. Then the kind of silence that feels wrong. The kind of hums. With something you can't name, yet your body already knows. By the time he reached the living room, the world had split into two. Before and after. Betsy Faria, his wife of 12 years, lay on the carpet in a pool of blood. Fifty-five stab wounds. A knife still in her neck. And somewhere out there, a woman named Pam Hupp was already rehearsing her story. Welcome to GBRLIFE Transmissions. I'm your host, Kaitlyn, and you're listening to GBRLIFE of Crimes, where we explore not just what happened in crimes committed by women, but why they happened and the psychology behind them. Today's story takes us into the world of a woman who used kindness like a weapon,

Kaitlyn:

[1:14] who knew exactly how to look like the helper while destroying lives from the inside out. This is the story of Pam Hupp.

Kaitlyn:

[1:26] If you lived in Troy back then, you probably have liked Pam. She was friendly in that Midwestern way. The kind that makes small talk and checkout lines. The kind that offers to drive you to the doctors when no one else can. Born in 1958, raised in Missouri, Pam's life looked normal. Not glamorous, not tragic, just ordinary. She married twice, had kids, had jobs in insurance and real estate, and she wasn't loud or flashy. She was the kind of woman you trusted to drop off a casserole when you were sick, and that's exactly how she wanted it. When Betsy Faria's cancer returned, her friend Pam, of course, swooped in. She volunteered to take her to chemo, to sit with her, to keep her company when her energy ran low. At first, everyone thought she was an angel, but the visits got longer.

Kaitlyn:

[2:26] The check-ins got consistent and constant, and Betsy's family started to notice something odd. Pam wasn't just helping. She was hovering. She wanted to know who Betsy talked to, where she went, how much time she spent with her husband.

Kaitlyn:

[2:43] That's not friendship. That's possession wrapped in a smile. A few days before Christmas 2011, Betsy made a decision that she never lived long enough to regret. She changed the beneficiary on her life insurance from her husband Russ to her quote unquote best friend, Pam. Pam said it was for Betsy's daughters. She said she'd make sure the girls were taken care of. But after Betsy's death, Pam didn't start a trust. She started shopping.

Kaitlyn:

[3:17] $150,000 gone. And it all started the night she gave Betsy one last ride home. December 27th. 2011. Pam picked her up from chemo. They stopped for food. Pam drove her home, helped her inside, and then she said she left by 7 p.m.

Kaitlyn:

[3:39] It's the last time anyone sees Betsy alive. By 9.30, Russ Faria walks in to find the love of his life murdered. His frantic call to 911 one sobbing and screaming. But when the police arrive, the tears don't matter. They've already decided who did it. And Pam? Well, she was there to make sure of it. Pam sits across from detectives with tissues in her hand and a voice soft enough.

Kaitlyn:

[4:08] Also broken, she tells him Betsy was scared of Russ, that she planned to leave him, that Russ had a temper. She cries at the right moments. She remembers new details every time she's asked. And each time she talks, Russ's story looks worse. Police eat it up. Pam's grieving friend, X, was working, and it gave them everything they needed. Motive, emotion, and the illusion of certainty.

Kaitlyn:

[4:38] So Russ Faria was arrested, convicted, and sentenced to prison for 30 years. And while he's behind bars, Pam Hupp is spending Betsy's money. The thing about liars is that they can only juggle so many stories at once, and eventually the mask is going to slip. Pam's story didn't just have cracks. It had big holes, large enough to drive a car through. She changed her timeline. She contradicted herself, and when Russ's defense team finally caught those threads and started pulling, the entire thing came undone. Russ's conviction was overturned in 2015, this time with new attorneys.

Kaitlyn:

[5:22] Investigators re-examined every detail, from phone records to blood splatter to the way Pam inserted herself into every part of Betsy's final day. There was a second trial, of course.

Kaitlyn:

[5:36] And the truth finally got air. And Russ? He was acquitted. He was free. But he wasn't the only one exposed. Pam Hupp went from the trusted friend to prime suspect. It felt like it was overnight. But her interviews, her money trail, her manipulations, everyone started to see that it actually looked sinister. Especially with that spending spree. And for the first time, Pam realized she wasn't untouchable anymore. And by 2016, the heat was closing in.

Kaitlyn:

[6:09] Police had started to look at Pam as the likely killer in Betsy's case. And when cornered, Pam did what manipulators do best. She created a distraction. She called 911 from her phone one afternoon. Her voice was trembling. She said a man broke in. She said he had a knife. She said that he was hired by Rathvaria to kill her. The man's name was Louis Gumpenberger. He had a disability from a past car accident, and he was dead by the time the officers arrived. Pam said she shot him, but in self-defense. She said it was Russ's revenge, but detectives had learned their lesson this time. The attack was clearly staged. There was even an envelope labeled Russ Faria's payback money, but in Pam's handwriting. The story? Pam's invention, of course. The man?

Kaitlyn:

[7:06] A random stranger she lured into her home with a fake story about filming a Dateline segment. She killed him, not out of fear, but out of desperation. And this time, the performance failed. When Pam was finally arrested, she didn't cry. She didn't beg. She just looked irritated, like the world had finally caught up to the act that she's been auditioning her whole life.

Kaitlyn:

[7:32] Prosecutors pieced together the pattern, the sudden insurance change, the manipulation of grooving families, the conveniently timed deaths, Betsy, Louis, and maybe even her mother, who had fell off a balcony. Every part of her life looked rehearsed. The friendly smile, the nurturing voice, the subtle charm that always made people underestimate her.

Kaitlyn:

[8:00] This kill, these kills, it wasn't just Betsy. There was actually a pattern and Pam was at the center of it all. She didn't kill out of passion or impulse. She killed for control. Because being in control, being believed, was her real addiction. When stories start to fall apart, she doesn't come clean, she creates new ones. When people stop sympathizing, she has to find a way to make herself a victim again. She knew exactly how to cry, exactly how to tilt her head, and exactly when to use the words afraid, misunderstood, or betrayed. She wasn't just lying, she was performing. And in 2019, Pam entered an Alford plea for the murder of Lewis, essentially saying,

Kaitlyn:

[8:54] I'm not admitting guilt, but I know you can prove it. And she was sentenced to life in prison. And in 2021, nearly 10 years after Betsy Faria's murder, Pam was officially charged with Betsy's death too. But that trial's still coming. But the court of public opinion, it's already decided. Dateline covered it. And Renee Zellweger portrayed her in The Thing About Pam. And suddenly the entire world was seeing what the people of Troy, Missouri had missed for years.

Kaitlyn:

[9:27] A predator hiding behind politeness. Pam isn't a mystery, she's a mirror. A reflection of what happens when manipulation meets opportunity.

Kaitlyn:

[9:38] When empathy becomes leverage. Psychologists often describe her behavior as malignant narcissism.

Kaitlyn:

[9:46] But with antisocial traits. Meaning, she thrives as being perceived as good. It's not about greed alone. It's about control. The power to decide who deserves sympathy, who deserves punishment, and who gets to play the hero in her version of events. Pam wanted to be believed. Even more than she wanted money or safety or attention. She wanted to be the center of everyone's story.

Kaitlyn:

[10:15] And in the end, she was. Just not the one she wrote for herself. The reason Pam Huck fascinates us isn't just the crime. It's the disguise. Because she doesn't look like danger. She looked like comfort. Like the person you would call when your life was falling apart. But that's the thing about real evil. It doesn't always hide in darkness. As I always say, sometimes evil hides in hospitality. It smiles. It nods. it offers help. And when it's done, it leaves you doubting your own instincts, wondering how someone so kind could be capable of something so cruel. Pam Hupp weaponized sympathy. And in doing so, she reminded us of a truth most people don't want to face. It's not the monsters in the shadows you should fear. It's the ones sitting

Kaitlyn:

[11:06] next to you saying, let me help. Either way, they say evil hides in the shadows, but sometimes it drives you home from chemo with a smile. This has been GBRLIFE of Crimes, part of GBRLIFE Transmissions, and I'm Kaitlyn reminding you that understanding the darkness helps us appreciate the light. Join me next time as we uncover another case that challenges everything we thought we knew about the criminal mind.